Fasting fam, I’ve been sick the past week and a half and my appetite isn’t much and I haven’t thought much about fasting or meal planning. Also, I’m just sad. My 90 year old father’s used car turned out to be a lemon and for the first time in his adult life he will no longer be driving. He’s taking it well and I hope I can help him see that not driving rocks! I’ve never had a car and don’t drive myself, and am fortunate to live in between several frequent running bus lines. I just hope he will be able to adjust to this new lifestyle okay. He’s already lonely as it is and I worry that not having a car could further isolate him.

I no longer communicate with my sister unless it has to do with Dad things, and I’ll probably have to communicate with her more as a result of this change, which I’m not looking forward to as she is extremely unpleasant to be around. And then there is the realization that someday I too will be a frail senior and I don’t like relying on others for things… so it’s a note to self to maybe not drink as much and get back on the a.m. workout bandwagon.

Springing forward always fucks up my sleep for quite a while but I am happiest when getting up at 4:00 am and working out before work. I need to make this a habit again. I was doing great until December when my boyfriend came back into my life, which threw a wrench in my routine.

The only person on my team who has been there almost as long as me is retiring in December. I’m so envious, but I have a good 4 years to go, minimum. I know they will go by fast, but just trying to find meaning in the quotidien, yanno? How to make Life meaningful until then, and after then? I know I want to walk 5+ miles a day in retirement.

The morning workouts are one thing that definitely add meaning to my life, and I need to make this a priority. As the days get longer and hotter though, sleep worsens (I don’t have A/C) making it harder to get up that early.

Just in a funk…